What other people call dark and despairing, I call funny.

I started writing one afternoon when I was twenty, and ever since then I have written every day. At first I had to force myself. Then it became part of my identity, and I did it without thinking.

I'm not a reporter but the 'New Yorker' treats everyone like a reporter.

I don't like being left to my own thoughts.

I like to reserve the right to write about whatever I like.

Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.

I'd always thought that I understood this, but lately I realize that what I call "understanding" is basically just fantasizing.