It's hard to love a place that's outlawed smoking but finds it perfectly acceptable to serve raw fish in a bath of chocolate.

Most people, or at least most of the people that I've come into contact with, would like to be written about.

The difference between writing where you know where to draw the line and writing where you're being way too mean is whether you can tell that the writer is not talking to family or friends anymore. Generally, if you say something bad about somebody on stage, you need to say two bad things about yourself. A lot of times, I think I'm the worst person in the room.

I've wasted a lot of time pretending to be interested in people who weren't terribly interesting.

I won't put in a load of laundry, because the machine is too loud and would drown out other, more significant noises - namely, the shuffling footsteps of the living dead.

As bad a dresser as I am, anything beats being judged by my character.

Their house had real hardcover books in it, and you often saw them lying open on the sofa, the words still warm from being read.