Scream at the mangled leather carcass lying at the foot of the stairs, and my parents would roar with laughter. "That's what you get for leaving your wallet on the kitchen table.

Say what you will about the south, but in North Carolina a hot dog is free to swing anyway it wishes.

My first semester I had only nine students. Hoping they might view me as professional and well prepared, I arrived bearing name tags fashioned in the shape of maple leaves.

I'm the most important person in the lives of almost everyone I know and a good number of the people I've never even met.

There are certain people in my life who didn't care to be in my book. And so I cut them out. And I had broken up with somebody. And I was, you know, really upset and depressed. And so that was, you know, reasons to keep going.

but I have no mind for business and considered staying awake to be enough of an accomplishment.

I'm not a reporter but the 'New Yorker' treats everyone like a reporter.