To say that a humorist exaggerates to get big laughs, I don't see how that's big news.

I started typing diary in, I don't know, 1978 or '79, but then the computer changed that a lot. Because with the computer if you were writing and you realized you had three sentences in a row that started with the word "he," you could fix that right up, whereas on a typewriter you'd think, "Well, I'm not going to change the whole page. It's my diary." So that made a difference.

I think it's good to have the alone time. Well, I kind of have to, because I have to be alone in order to work, so I have alone time. And then I go on tour and I have being-around-people time.

I went from having 50 listeners to 50 million listeners.

There seemed to be some correlation between devotion to God and a misguided zeal for marshmallows.

It hardly seemed fair, because, unlike a horse or a Seeing Eye dog, the whole glory of being a bird is that nobody would ever put you to work.

Say what you will about the south, but in North Carolina a hot dog is free to swing anyway it wishes.