I've never made up events, but I've always been a big exaggerator. It's written on my humorist license that I'm allowed to do that.

I like listening to books as well, as that way you can iron at the same time.

It can take years. With the first draft, I just write everything. With the second draft, it becomes so depressing for me, because I realize that I was fooled into thinking I'd written the story. I hadn't-I had just typed for a long time. So then I have to carve out a story from the 25 or so pages. It's in there somewhere-but I have to find it. I'll then write a third, fourth, and fifth draft, and so on.

It hardly seemed fair, because, unlike a horse or a Seeing Eye dog, the whole glory of being a bird is that nobody would ever put you to work.

My family isn't really all that different from anyone else's. Well, maybe they're a bit more entertaining.

The things I've bought from strangers in the dark would curl your hair.

I don't think my life is more interesting than anybody else's.