While I do not have a boyfriend, I do have a friend who is homosexual and I once asked him "Do you ever think about having sex with me because you are gay?" to which he replied "Do you ever think about having sex with Rosie O'Donnell because you are straight? Same thing.

I was taught never to make a threat unless you are prepared to carry it out, and I am not a fan of carrying anything. Even watching other people carrying things makes me uncomfortable. Mainly because of the possibility they may ask me to help.

the old man dance, where I tense up, shuffle my feet intermittently, complain about the music volume, and sit down for a rest.

While I do not have a boyfriend, I do have a friend who is homosexual and I once asked him "Do you ever think about having sex with me because you are gay?" to which he replied "Do you ever think about having sex with Rosie O'Donnell because you are straight? Same thing.

I would have assumed you understood, despite our vague suggestions otherwise, we do not welcome constructive criticism.

Without a concise set of rules to follow we would probably all have to resort to common sense

You can't trust girls. When I get a girlfriend I am not going to tell her where I live or work.