I did come up with the term "sack" to describe the devastation I was bringing on the poor, cringing quarterbacks in the NFL. "Sack the quarterback." That was nice. I thought it was lots better than saying, "Jones tackles the QB behind the line for another loss of yardage ..." It had a ring to it, and it caught on with the sports writers. But I tell you, doing it was a lot more fun than talking about it.

When I was a teenager, I was so dumb my mamma knocked me off the porch with a broom. You wish you had so good a mamma.

How can you possibly be sympathetic to every fool on the planet? Just the other day, I heard a man whining about his hopeless love of cross-dressing. Call me unenlightened, but I started to laugh.

I never was very big on praying for victory. For God to give a big win to the Denver Broncos, wouldn't He have to take it away from somebody else, say, the Green Bay Packers?

You'll find your life greatly simplified if you only worry about stuff you can fix.

How are you going to do great things if you are not committed to your work.

Anytime you go upside a man's head - or a woman - then they have a tendency to blink they eyes. Or close they eyes.