Life is a matter of dealing with other people, in little matters and cataclysmic ones, and that means a series of conversations.

any criticism heard secondhand sounds worse than it would face to face. Words spoken out of our presence strike us as more powerful, just as people we know only by reputation seem larger than life.

We all know we are unique individuals, but we tend to see others as representatives of groups.

Words can be like weapons of destruction: It takes so much effort, and the cooperation of so many people, to build something - and so little effort of so few to tear it down.

Public discourse requires making an argument for a point of view, not having an argument - as in having a fight.

We tend to look through language and not realize how much power language has

The one who decides who goes ahead has the upper hand, regardless of who gets to go. This is why many women do not feel empowered by such privileges as having doors held open for them. The advantage of going first through the door is less salient to them than the disadvantage of being granted the right to walk through a door by someone who is framed, by his magnanimous gesture, as the arbiter of the right-of-way.