All conversation, in addition to whatever else it does, displays, and asks for recognition of, our competence.

We all know we are unique individuals, but we tend to see others as representatives of groups.

To say that a person feels listened to means a lot more than just their ideas get heard. It's a sign of respect. It makes people feel valued.

All conversation, in addition to whatever else it does, displays, and asks for recognition of, our competence.

But if you parry individuals points - a negative and defensive enterprise - you never step back and actively imagine a world in which a different system of ideas could be true - a positive act.

Words can be like weapons of destruction: It takes so much effort, and the cooperation of so many people, to build something - and so little effort of so few to tear it down.

The key to conversation at work is flexibility and understanding how what you say might be perceived by others.