Loud, stupid and overeating will suffice as long as we also have the funny, the fierce and the intellectual

There is a huge boom in autism right now because inattentive mothers and competitive dads want an explanation for why their dumb-ass kids can't compete academically, so they throw money into the happy laps of shrinks . . . to get back diagnoses that help explain away the deficiencies of their junior morons. I don't give a [bleep] what these crackerjack whack jobs tell you - yer kid is NOT autistic. He's just stupid. Or lazy. Or both.

I will not bond. I will not share. I refuse to nurture.

First of all, I have to have trucks because I live most of my time on a horse farm, so I've gotta have trucks. It's in the northeast; I've got to have pickup trucks to move snow, number one. Number two, just if I'm driving, I don't have to have an SUV, but I want a big car.

My father left Ireland because he did not want to muck horse manure for the rest of his life, and he wanted to come to New York.

How many whales do we really need? I figure five. One for each ocean.

He [ Campbell Scott ] is also a really funny guy which not a lot of people know.