Don't buy the toys that make the noise!

I bought my daughter a Chihuahua and I fell in love with it. So now I carry Coco around with me all the time.

When I become president, all you assholes that ride bikes in the city? Lock and load! You're going down!

I don't watch 'American Idol.' I don't watch any of that stuff.

I think daycare is great for people who have to work two jobs. My problem is with people who are dropping kids off at daycare because they want to go out and spend the day golfing or getting their nails done. You know what I mean? That's not why they invented daycare.

I think we should take Iraq and Iran and combine them into one country and call it Irate. All the pissed off people live in one place and get it over with.

Sometimes 'great acting' is just showing off - chewing up scenery and dialogue and other actors - the equivalent of a theatrical sugar rush.