Science fiction was never my thing. I have no interest in it.

I studied acting in school and then of course couldn't get an acting job.

I'm really good at laundry, and I have no problem cleaning the kitchen.

I tried eating vegetarian. I felt like a wimp going into a restaurant. "What do you want to eat sir? Broccoli?" Broccoli's a side dish, folks. Always was, always will be, OK! When they ask me what I want, I say: What do you think I want? This is America. I want a bowl of raw red meat right now.

You can't teach somebody how to be funny. You're either funny, or you ain't.

All knowledge is ultimately rooted in metaphorical (or analogical) modes of perception and thought.

What I've learned is that life is too short and movies are too long.