What's politically correct a lot of times is not funny.

My wife and I were poor when I started but we struggled along until things happened for me in my thirties. I knew I was doing what I loved even if I wasn't getting paid for it, so I think I'd still be doing it.

Nobody can make more fun of me than I already make of myself.

How many whales do we really need? I figure five. One for each ocean.

I would never do crack... I would never do a drug named after a part of my own ass, okay?

My kids watch everything downloaded; they have no idea what the numbers or the names of the channels mean, except "FX makes the show that I see on my computer." So it's harder to get a show on the air, but at the same time, there are a lot of terrific shows.

Racism isn't born, folks, it's taught. I have a two-year-old son. You know what he hates? Naps! End of list.