How many whales do we really need? I figure five. One for each ocean.

I think all priests should be married.

I'm not really a Spider-Man fan. I'm more of a Batman guy.

Jon Stewart is exactly the same guy he's always been, only with money. He knows that the moment he really believes he's important, the funny goes away and he becomes Bill O'Reilly, except shorter and Jewish.

When I become president, all you assholes that ride bikes in the city? Lock and load! You're going down!

My dad was very much a John Wayne kind of guy, but he was also a great guy, great sense of humor, a real dedicated dad. I don't think he ever missed a hockey game I was in.

Science fiction was never my thing. I have no interest in it. So I don't think I could successfully pull off being on a project like that without really losing my mind.