Once people start to think they've wasted parts of their life, or they're wasting their life as they speak, that means there's going to be great dramatic and comedic tension.

No matter what anybody says, relationships are based on physical attraction. The first time I saw my wife, it was pure animal whatever.

Nobody can make more fun of me than I already make of myself.

Sin is in, and so we begin.

My nieces and my nephews think the only thing that I do is 'Ice Age.' That's fine with me because pretty soon they'll grow up enough to realize that I suck or that my time has passed, whichever it might be.

When I become president, all you assholes that ride bikes in the city? Lock and load! You're going down!

White men have screwed this country up! I would like a black, female…. everything all rolled into one.I want something different. I want a real change. People, I want a president who speaks well, who has a sense of humor. This guy is such a moron! It's beyond the point where it's a joke. He's an idiot.