People saying, 'Life didn't turn out the way I wanted it to.' Welcome to the club. I wanted to be the starting center-fielder for the Boston Red Sox, for chrissakes!

I guess you get pigeon-holed in Hollywood, but I'm ok with that because I've been able to do a lot. I started in the theater, then I went to stand-up comedy, and then when I went into the movies to do comedy and drama and big movies and small movies.

I would never do crack... I would never do a drug named after a part of my own ass, okay?

If a character dies, you get to do a big, juicy death scene. But the flip side is you're out of the sequel, which is where the real money is.

If you see me doing a new stand-up special, it probably means I've been out of work for a while.

I studied acting in school and then of course couldn't get an acting job.

The Social Wishlist on Facebook is a great example of everything right about social media.