Heavy Metal fans are buying Heavy Metal records, taking the records home, listening to the records and then blowing their heads off with shotguns? Where's the problem? That's an unemployment solution right there, folks! It's called natural selection.

My only worry about tweeting and modern technology is how it has crept into even the darkest corners of the absolute global village we live in.

No matter what anybody says, relationships are based on physical attraction. The first time I saw my wife, it was pure animal whatever.

It's human nature for people to expect people to be what they see on the screen.

You know why the French hate us so much? Thay gave us the croissant. And you know what we did with it? We turned it into our croissandwich, thank you very much.

I needed someone really intense, but also somebody with a lot of theatrical credibility.

I'm in my truck talking to Jesus. And you can see a World Series ring on my right pinkie finger. But when I take my sunglasses off a second later, it's gone. It's the whole divine intervention thing. You know Jesus had something to do with them winning.