Most people think, "Life sucks, and then you die." I disagree. I think life sucks. Then you get cancer. Then you go into chemotherapy. You lose all your hair, you feel bad about yourself. Then all of the sudden the cancer goes into remission, and then all of the sudden you have a stroke. You can't move your right side. And then, maybe, you die.

There's not going to be a 'Rescue Me' movie. Not a chance.

Sometimes I park in handicap spaces while handicapped people make handicapped faces.

I needed someone really intense, but also somebody with a lot of theatrical credibility.

I had a relationship with an Italian chick that was built on just fighting and sex. As much as all women won't let go of stuff, Italian girls won't let go of anything. And she punched really hard. I got tired of the arguing it took to get to the sex.

Vacuuming is great. I do the laundry. I love washing machines. I'm the maid in my house.

Crisis doesn't create character; it reveals it.