Branson, Missouri, is Vegas for people with no teeth.

I'm like Bush, I see the world more like checkers than chess.

When the hell is Warren Moon going to retire? I mean, this guy is older than the cuneiform in Nebuchadnezzar's tomb.

Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.

Is it just me, or are the 49ers doing an awful lot of ass-patting today?

The current tax code is harder to understand than Bob Dylan reading Finnegans Wake in a wind tunnel.

Why is electricity so expensive these days? Why does it cost so much for something I can make with a balloon and my hair?