A recent conversation: Dubya: Look at the clock, time is racing! Cheney: That's the second hand, George.

Concussion? How the hell can they tell? They're *football* players, for chrissakes!

I love this country for several reasons, not the least of which is that I know I'm allowed to hate it if I want to.

It's your living room, it's your life, go nuts. You like Home Improvement? Tape it and go over it like it's the Zapruder film.

By and large, I think it should be a rule in the teacher employment manual that you can't go attend any event where if you took your classroom on a student field trip, they would summarily be obliterated. That should be rule No. 1.

Is global warming new? I don't know. When I was young I remember the sun being hot.

The American education system couldn't be more badly directed or poorly funded if the Secretary of Education were Ed Wood.