In the late twentieth century, staying sober has become just as much an addiction as getting wasted.

Nowadays, with history not being taught anymore in American public schools, self-esteem is taking its place.

Human beings are human beings. They say what they want, don't they? They used to say it across the fence while they were hanging wash. Now they just say it on the Internet.

Hey, what if those crop circles are just ads for Target?

I rant, therefore I am

Women don't like guys who are dangerous. Women just want us to think that because women are trying to kill us.

I think [Ann Coulter] understands that, she's Pavlov's dog. She gets the corn kernel if she hits that drum once in a while.