Los Angeles is often described as the nadir of vapidity, a smog-choked space cradle.

Tabloid photos capture people at their most self-conscious and disoriented; in real life, Paris Hilton is like an elegant paper crane.

People don't have these tidy little redemption arcs in reality the way they do in movies.

Now '90210' is returning with an all-new cast of slightly more plausible teens. I'll be honest: I wish the old cast was back. Ideally, this spin-off would be an Ice Storm-esque exploration of the West Beverly gang's bleak adult lives.

Nobody comes to Minnesota to take their clothes off, at least as far as I know.

Love is mysterious and rad, like Steve Perry from Journey

This is for the writers. I want to thank all the writers. I especially want to thank my fellow nominees because I worship you guys and I'm learning from you every day.