I've actually gotten so I don't associate television with entertainment very much.

Once I left out what I then considered my best line because there was a suspected column rat in the house.

There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?

When I was a kid in Nebraska, a cantankerous farmer, known for plinking with his '22 at passing cars in which he perceived enemies, ingeniously rigged up a shotgun in his house, trained on the inside of his front door so as to widely distribute any intruder.

My dream was maybe someday, one night I can be a guest on a talk show, and then I will have achieved everything I want.

Lawyers work hard and, like us, they're human, many of them.

I always wanted to live in a haunted house.