The Nixon administration kept a nasty eye on our show... Cops would come by - often just in time to see the act they wanted to see.

Depression - it falls into that small category of things like combat that, if you haven't been in it, you can say you can imagine it all you like. But it's truly different.

Nobody is going to try to confiscate guns, although some Web sites know better: President Obama, they are certain, wants to.

Unpleasant reading on the subject of anger tells us that there's not really anything wrong with it. In limited amounts. It can even be a good thing. A pressure valve.

Anything seen on TV is, in a subtle and sinister sense, thereby endorsed.

The very phrase 'Oscar night' used to accelerate my pulse. For one thing - dating myself - it meant Bob Hope. He always had good, strong jokes, that faultless delivery, and always a new joke about his own films' failure - once again - to be honored.

My dream was maybe someday, one night I can be a guest on a talk show, and then I will have achieved everything I want.