Laughter is the best way to release tensions and fears.

Once we used to have to crank up our cars, now you can pop it on from inside your house. Everything has changed except how we get freedom.

If it wasn't for Abe Lincoln, I'd still be on the open market.

If democracy is such a good thing, let's have more of it.

...Humans were the only creatures in the world that ate their food cooked. You'd never find a Gorilla frying up some bananas for dinner or a lion charcoal-broiling a zebra steak. Cats don't often run to the oven with a mouse or bird they've captured, and a dog wouldn't naturally prepare its rabbit dinner in a stew.

I feel that the same God-force that is the mother and father of the Pope is also the mother and father of the loneliest wino on the planet.

If you take 12 waters from the coconut - not the ones you buy in the store, although that's good - but the fresh coconuts, the little brown ones with the three eyes, if you take 12 of those within 24 hours, your blood will go back to the way it was when you were born.