Hell hath no fury like a liberal scorned.

No kid in the world, no woman in the world should ever raise a hand against a no-good daddy. That's already been taken care of: A Man Who Destroys His Own Home Shall Inherit the Wind.

Truth is the baby of the world. It never gets old.

Race baiters and discriminators may go underground, but they never move out of town.

I am really enjoying the new Martin Luther King Jr stamp - just think about all those white bigots, licking the backside of a black man.

The funniest jokes you know aren't from comics but relatives, friends - from your life. That's the funniest stuff.

If it wasn't for Abe Lincoln, I'd still be on the open market.