Every holiday on the calendar, I check in a hotel and fast - I don't eat, I don't drink, I don't talk.

I consider myself always a humorist. And I think anybody who tells jokes or makes people laugh is humor.

Don't have a high school diploma? You're in my Cabinet. Why? For 200 years, a lot of Cabinets have existed in our government. Powerful men. Well-educated. So let's try something totally new.

Nature is not affected by finance. If someone offered you ten thousand dollars to let them touch your eyeball without blinking, you would never collect the money. At the very last moment, Nature would force you to blink your eye. Nature will protect her own.

America is concerned more with the possibility of moon folks than the reality of hungry poor folks.

I'm not a comic. I'm a humorist.

Fear and God do not occupy the same space.