Eating liver out of a cow's body is like eating the filter out of a car.

To me, seeing a really great comedian is a bit like watching a musician or a poet.

The free man is the man with no fears.

I would have painted the White House black. I would have!

Once we used to have to crank up our cars, now you can pop it on from inside your house. Everything has changed except how we get freedom.

I'm not a comic. I'm a humorist.

We used to root for the Indians against the cavalry, because we didn't think it was fair in the history books that when the cavalry won it was a great victory, and when the Indians won it was a massacre.