Don't have a high school diploma? You're in my Cabinet. Why? For 200 years, a lot of Cabinets have existed in our government. Powerful men. Well-educated. So let's try something totally new.

The funniest jokes you know aren't from comics but relatives, friends - from your life. That's the funniest stuff.

I didn't realize, when I decided to be a comic, that a black person had never been allowed to stand flat-footed in America and talk to white folks. It never happened before.

I used to get letters saying, 'I didn't know black children and white children were the same.'

The only good thing about the good old days is they're gone.

Everything we do we should look at in terms of millions of people who can't afford it.

The only person on the planet saying derogatory things about his woman is the black man.