The dumber a pitcher is, the better. When he gets smart and begins to experiment with a lot of different pitches, he's in trouble. All I ever had was a fastball, a curve and a changeup and I did pretty good.

I can't tell you why there's a delay, but stick your head out of the window and you'll know why.

It puzzles me how they know what corners are good for filling stations. Just how did they know gas and oil was under there?

A lot of folks that ain't saying 'ain't,' ain't eating.

Anybody who's ever had the privilege of seeing me play knows that I am the greatest pitcher in the world.

Why, they shot the wrong McKinley!

I never keep a scorecard or the batting averages. I hate statistics. What I got to know, I keep in my head.