Sometimes I wonder how I got into comedy at all.

I remember that the priest finally said to me, 'You wouldn't like to have a religion that makes things easy for you.' Now I know that both faith and intellect are components of religious belief.

Sometimes I wonder how I got into comedy at all.

I was married awfully young and I felt trapped. My wife had been divorced and all the time we were married we were out of the Church. It wasn't until we were divorced that we became good Catholics again.

I am a quick study - I can memorize a script in an hour - but I can't remember a name three seconds. I've even forgotten my wife's name on occasion.

I like getting married, but I don't like being married.

I had a wonderful experience on the golf course today. I had a hole in nothing. Missed the ball and sank the divot.