Punctuality is one of the cardinal business virtues: always insist on it in your subordinates.

When you can't have anything else, you can have virtue.

Between the years of ninety-two and a hundred and two, however, we shall be the ribald, useless, drunken, outcast person we have always wished to be. We shall have a long white beard and long white hair; we shall not walk at all, but recline in a wheel chair and bellow for alcoholic beverages; in the winter we shall sit before the fire with our feet in a bucket of hot water, a decanter of corn whiskey near at hand, and write ribald songs against organized society... We look forward to a disreputable, vigorous, unhonoured, and disorderly old age.

An optimist is the person who has never had any experience at all.

Too many creatures both insects and humans estimate their own value by the amount of minor irritation they are able to cause to greater personalities than themselves.

Censors are necessary, increasingly necessary, if America is to avoid having a vital literature.

Honesty is a good thing, but it is not profitable to its possessor unless it is kept under control.