An old stomach reforms more whiskey drinkers than a new resolve.

If the world were not so full of people, and most of them did not have to work so hard, there would be more time for them to get out and lie on the grass, and there would be more grass for them to lie on.

The female of all species are most dangerous when they appear to retreat.

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.

There was once a Hindu sage, who sat down on the banks of the Ganges and thought for seventy years about the millennium. Just as he arrived at the solution and was putting it into verse, a mosquito stung him and he forgot it again at once.

Most of the people living in New York have come here from the far to try to make enough money to go back to the farm

A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.