A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.

If a child shows himself incorrigible, he should be decently and quietly beheaded at the age of twelve, lest he grow to maturity, marry, and perpetuate his kind.

The chief obstacle to the progress of the human race is the human race.

As the skull of the man grows broader, so do his creeds. And his gods they are shaped in his image and mirror his needs. And he clothes them with thunders and beauty, He clothes them with music and fire, Seeing not, as he bows by their altars, That he worships his own desire.

Of middle age the best that can be said is that a middle aged person has likely learned how to have a little fun in spite of his troubles.

By the time a bartender knows what drink a man will have before he orders, there is little else about him worth knowing.

Insects have their own point of view about civilization a man thinks he amounts to a great deal but to a flea or a mosquito a human being is merely something good to eat.