No matter where you go in this world, you will always find a Jew sitting in the beach chair next to you.

I would describe myself as a guy that's very normal but has the tendency to rib people, but never in a mean-spirited way.

I take pride in being very unique in what I do. Nobody else can do what I do and I don't mean to say that egotistically, it's just something in my personality.

I do situations and make fun of authority and life.

I've got an accountant who's been with me forty years. If he makes a mistake, he dies.

Political correctness? In my humor, I never talk about politics. I was never much into all that.

Famous people are deceptive. Deep down, they're just regular people. Like Larry King. We've been friends for forty years. He's one of the few guys I know who's really famous. One minute he's talking to the president on his cell phone, and then the next minute he's saying to me, Do you think we ought to give the waiter another dollar?