My whole act is off the top of my head.

I used to play golf. I wanted to be a better player, but after a while I realized I'd always stink. And that's when I really started to enjoy the game.

I never went out looking for glory.

An insult comic is the title I was given. What I do is exaggeration. I make fun of people, at life, of myself and my surroundings.

Asians are nice people, but they burn a lot of shirts.

I have a problem, if the light goes on on TV and it blinks midnight, I don't know how to fix it.

My father wasn't much for show business. He was an insurance man - very well-liked, very warm. He had a lot of friends.