Why does every girl in the world wanna date me? Especially right now man, especially when I'm busy!

To all my fans who's saying Donald Glover about to blow, just give me six months so you can say I told you so.

I'm probably going to get in trouble for this but 'American Dad' is one of my favourite shows. It gets very dark in places but the jokes are there.

Suicide is kinda dumb to me. If I wanna kill myself I will. It's not hard to die, I could do it like right now. But why is everybody pretending like everything's ok, Everything's not ok. We are more connected than we've ever been, But I feel more alone than I've ever been.

Careers very rarely are a waste of time; jobs usually are.

Yes I'm grown and sexy, and I'm worth the wait. Girls act like I'm the only dude on earth to date.

I think it's a comedian's job to make everything funny. Nothing is off-limits.