When I wanna be a superhero I just wake up.

Bright lights, they tend to burn out fast. So I shine bright, but I'm scared that it won't last.

The thing about stand-up was, not only was I getting to write it without anybody saying I couldn't do it, but I got to perform it. It just kind of became therapy for me. I had just gotten through a break-up and I was talking about it a lot.

Taking a call girl to an STD fair... there's a joke here.

They say my public persona don't have enough appeal, I take a lesson from Kanye and give 'em something real.

I'd much rather have AIDS than a baby... They're not that different at all. They're both expensive, you have them for the rest of your life, they're constant reminders of the mistakes you've made and once you have them, you pretty much can only date other people who have them.

I'm very impatient, so I was like, 'I want to be able to do whatever I want now.' But even the biggest stars - you look back and they weren't overnight.