Some men break your heart in two, Some men fawn and flatter, Some men never look at you; And that cleans up the matter.

Just begin a story with such a phrase as 'I remember Disraeli - poor old Dizz! - once saying to me, in answer to my poke in the eye,' and you will find me and Morpheus off in a corner, necking.

[On an actor who'd broken her leg in London:] Oh, how terrible. She must have done it sliding down a barrister.

I had been fed, in my youth, a lot of old wives' tales about the way men would instantly forsake a beautiful woman to flock around a brilliant one. It is but fair to say that, after getting out in the world, I had never seen this happen." [From a column dated November 17, 1928]

Anthologists are lazy fellows who like to spend a quiet evening at home raiding good books.

Because your eyes are slant and slow, Because your hair is sweet to touch, My heart is high again; but oh, I doubt if this will get me much.

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?