[On being told party guests were ducking for apples:] There, but for a typographical error, is the story of my life.

He is a writer for the ages, the ages of four to eight.

Now, look, baby, 'Union' is spelled with 5 letters. It is not a four-letter word.

Age before beauty, and pearls before swine.

When I was young and bold and strong, The right was right, the wrong was wrong. With plume on high and flag unfurled, I rode away to right the world. But now I’m old - and good and bad, Are woven in a crazy plaid. I sit and say the world is so, And wise is s/he who lets it go.

Gertrude Stein did us the most harm when she said, 'You're all a lost generation.' That got around to certain people and we all said, 'Whee! We're lost.

I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.