If wild my breast and sore my pride, I bask in dreams of suicide, If cool my heart and high my head I think 'How lucky are the dead.

[On Edna Ferber's Ice Palace] ... the book, which is going to be a movie, has the plot and characters of a book which is going to be a movie.

Work is the province of cattle.

Three be the things I shall never attain: Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.

If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second-greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first-greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they're happy.

The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.

[Epitaph:] Involved in a plot.