Mrs. Ewing was a short woman who accepted the obligation borne by so many short women to make up in vivacity what they lack in number of inches from the ground.

Q: What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone? A: You can't hear an enzyme.

I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.

Why, after all, should readers never be harrowed? Surely there is enough happiness in life without having to go to books for it.

Never throw mud: you can miss the target, but your hands will remain dirty.

I wish, I wish I were a poisonous bacterium.

How do people go to sleep? I'm afraid I've lost the knack. I might try busting myself smartly over the temple with the night-light. I might repeat to myself, slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound; if I can remember any of the damn things.