That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.

There must be courage; there must be no awe. There must be criticism, for humor, to my mind, is encapsulated in criticism. There must be a disciplined eye and a wild mind...There must be a magnificent disregard of your reader, for if he cannot follow you, there is nothing you can do about it.

Said of her husband on the day their divorce became final: Oh, don't worry about Alan. . . . Alan will always land on somebody's feet.

All I have to be thankful for in this world is that I was sitting down when my garter busted.

[Epitaph:] Involved in a plot.

I don't mind anything that's written about me, as long as it's not true.

They say of me, and so they should, It's doubtful if I come to good.