I wish, I wish I were a poisonous bacterium.

That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.

If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second-greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first-greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they're happy.

Friends come and go but I wouldn't have thought you'd be one of them

Civilization is coming to an end, you understand.

Because your eyes are slant and slow, Because your hair is sweet to touch, My heart is high again; but oh, I doubt if this will get me much.

Genius can write on the back of old envelopes but mere talent requires the finest stationery available.