I don't mind anything that's written about me, as long as it's not true.

If you're going to write, don't pretend to write down. It's going to be the best you can do, and it's the fact that it's the best you can do that kills you.

They say of me, and so they should, It's doubtful if I come to good. I see acquaintances and friends Accumulating dividends And making enviable names In science, art and parlor games. But I, despite expert advice, Keep doing things I think are nice, And though to good I never come Inseparable my nose and thumb.

Hollywood is the one place on earth where you could die of encouragement.

Guido Natso is natso guido.

This is me apologizing. I am a fool, a bird-brain, a liar and a horse-thief. I wouldn't touch a superlative again with an umbrella.

Sometimes I think I'll give up trying, and just go completely Russian and sit on a stove and moan all day.