[On the ringing of her doorbell or telephone:] What fresh hell is this?

Writing is the art of applying the ass to the seat.

London is satisfied, Paris is resigned, but New York is always hopeful. Always it believes that something good is about to come off, and it must hurry to meet it.

If all the young ladies who attended the Yale promenade dance were laid end to end, no one would be the least surprised.

Mrs. Ewing was a short woman who accepted the obligation borne by so many short women to make up in vivacity what they lack in number of inches from the ground.

[On hearing that Clare Boothe Luce was invariably kind to her inferiors:] And where does she find them?

Q: What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone? A: You can't hear an enzyme.