Benchley and I had an office in the old Life magazine that was so tiny, if it were an inch smaller it would have been adultery.

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song, a medley of extemporanea, And love is a thing that can never go wrong, and I am Marie of Romania.

There's life for you. Spend the best years of your life studying penmanship and rhetoric and syntax and Beowulf and George Eliot, and then somebody steals your pencil.

[On Kay Strozzi in The Silent Witness:] Miss Strozzi ... had the temerity to wear as truly horrible a gown as ever I have seen on the American stage. ... Had she not luckily been strangled by a member of the cast while disporting this garment, I should have fought my way to the stage and done her in, myself.

Q: What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone? A: You can't hear an enzyme.

Oh, both my shoes are shiny new, And pristine is my hat My dress is 1922… My life is all like that.

Of Orson Welles: It's like meeting God without dying.