I just broke up with my girlfriend because I caught her lying. Under another man.

It's easier to do comedy with an audience, because their reactions tell you whether or not what your saying qualifies as comedy.

J-Lo finally married into her own music genre. Crappy music.

The genius' behind the new Rocky movie decided to call it Rocky Balboa so that we'll probably forget that it's number six. Or Rocky Balboa can't count past five.

If you ever go to Las Vegas, and you will, just go for a few days. I was there recently for seven days, seven days in Vegas. After I blew all my money on gambling and prostitution, I had six days to kill.

[Ryan Reynolds] has had stabs at it like Just Friends. He's really fun in that.

The great thing about being up early on a Sunday is nothing.