Einstein used science to get laid. That guy is a genius. I've been using money.

Pot advocates actually try to convince people who don't need or want medical marijuana to go get a card, because as those numbers go up, it's like voting for an initiative. It's saying "There are this many people who want to use this who are not getting in trouble, who are not turning around and selling it or giving it to minors." No matter what they have - cancer, HIV, depression - anybody who says they feel better after smoking marijuana, I feel they should be able to do so, especially if it's in the privacy of their own home.

Stand-up is a very scary, very solitary profession, but you have to experience it to figure out if it's right for you.

Everyone wants to look good in photographs, even us trolls who tell jokes.

I know there's a lot of nasty humor directed at celebrities, but my feeling is, in most cases, they deserve it.

It's easier to do comedy with an audience, because their reactions tell you whether or not what your saying qualifies as comedy.

There was always, along the way in my career, as more and more I made marijuana a part of my act and my life, the more I'd hear from people saying, like, well, part of the reason that everybody likes it so much is because of the excitement of it not being legal. I always thought that was silly. Especially when it comes to smoking marijuana. People are certainly not less interested in it now that it's legal. In terms of comedy, it has kind of shifted a little bit in that it seems like the novelty has sort of worn off a little bit.