I know there's a lot of nasty humor directed at celebrities, but my feeling is, in most cases, they deserve it.

Stand-up is a very scary, very solitary profession, but you have to experience it to figure out if it's right for you.

I enjoy Modern Family very much. Good TV program. I don't know why. I just find that so many of the jokes land. So many of the actors are so great. Phil Dunphy is one of my favorite characters ever.

P. Diddy's gonna be exhausted, you know, running with the Olympic torch in one hand and the torch he'll always carry for J-Lo in the other.

The motion picture Deadpool was my favorite funny movie of [2016]. Something that I could just watch over and over again, because it's just so... he says so many things.

Marijuana: why forget something tomorrow when you can forget it today?

LL Cool J should be the spokesman for a line of pajamas called Ladies Love Cool Jammies.